Friday, April 6, 2012

The Geoffff's Joint Peace Prize

Feel confident that the esteemed committee in Oslo will see to it that the right guy gets the gong at City Hall this 10 December, given who they have given it to in the past?

Would you put your money on the Sydney Peace Prize going in the right direction this year given that the Sydney Peace Foundation gave their cheque to Noam Chomsky last year and earlier winners include John Pilger and Hanan Ashrawi for her work in putting a smiling human face to Arafat's attacks on family restaurants and teenage nightclubs during the Second Intifada?

You could look East and go for the Confucius Peace Prize. But given that the first winner in 2010  was a former Deputy Premier of the Republic of China who didn't hear about it until after the presentation and last year's winner was Vladimir Putin you may well be the only person in the world to take it seriously.

Know of any other peace prize that would command  respect for itself and bestow any on a recipient?  Know of any other peace prizes at all?  I'm sure they're out there. I want to believe.

In order to tackle this acute credibility deficit in the global peace prize business head on and to  fill a yawning gap in this tired market this blog has decided to introduce its own peace prize. The Geoffff's Joint Peace Prize will be awarded periodically as the mood takes.

The nominations for the inaugural Geoffff's Joint Peace Prize are:

The Fence was a winner from the very start. It attracted condemnation from every left/liberal hand wringing wanker across the globe, really got up the nose of the PA and was ruled illegal by the International Court of Justice so you could be certain this had acres of potential. And so it was to be. In 2002 there were 220 people killed in suicide terror attacks. In 2003 Hanan Ashrawi got the Sydney Peace Prize for all this good work. By 2007 the number had dropped to three. Now seriously, in any sane world, who do you think deserves the peace prize?

  •  The USAF Stealth Drone Avenger that took out this guy
Terror gang bosses are happy to send others to their deaths but they are not suicidal themselves. To make their jobs as suicidal as possible is a proven technique in keeping them down. Nothing like that feeling that at any moment you may be blown to paradise to keep them jittery and the paranoia flowing. The drones do good and important work.

How can you not but admire the skill and precision in that? Awesome. It leaves you lost for words. That sure got the rockets stopped.

And the winner is:

Drum roll.

Israel's Security Fence !!

Without question the most successful and enduring peace initiative since Begin and Sadat.

Congratulations State of Israel.


  1. The Geoffff's Joint Peace Prize

    Does that mean Israel gets the big fat joint then?

    Damn, I was kinda hoping you'd honour moi with that one Geoff.

    Look mate it's Good Friday, so maybe the following will convince you of my worthiness of that "gong".

    And why not use Good Friday as the vehicle to prove my peaciness.

    So what was good about Good Friday anyway, all them years ago?

    One less Jew, would be the short answer.

    Now don't go getting all emotional over this simple truth: Jesus was a Jew and on Good Friday he was deaded, that would be one less Jew. OK, supposedly he rose again but he pissed off again pretty quick - can't blame him really, but I digress.

    You might ask: what's good about that?

    You see, simple arithmetic will illustrate that there is plenty of good with "that" (for everyone), and at the same time prove that all this Israeli narcissism is probably not narcissism at all, rather well earned credo.

    Allow me to explain, I'll be brief:

    Now, if on Good Friday, all those years ago, Planet Earth was down one Jew, then that could be represented by the number: minus one (-1). Simple no?

    OK so what followed -1?

    The consequences of this particular -1, from the inaugural Good Friday to this present day, in fact, is also represented by a number, a number that is directly and irreversibly connected to this very important -1:


    That number being the total number of Christians living at present on our planet.

    It a matter of simple logic to conclude that one dead Jew is worth over 2 billion Christians. Now that's impressive.

    It would be only reasonable to speculate that if one dead Jew is worth 2 billion Christians, then what would one live Jew be worth? Obviously infinity more than one could have imagined.

    So there ya go - mathematical proof that one Jew, even a dead one, is worth more than two billion Christians.

    All in all this is good for Jews and good for Christians. It proves Jewish superiority, while at the same time giving Christians something to believe in (a dead Jew), holidays every year, and chocolate in shapes of animals and eggs to celebrate the murder of that same Jew while having their holidays.

    Now if the above (elegant) proof is not worthy of a big fat peaceful gong, then nuffin is.

    1. I would consider deleting your comment as offensive, Justin, except that I haven't got a lot of comments to spare.

      Consider yourself lucky.

  2. Well if that's not enough then let's add this:

    "One million Arabs are not worth a Jewish fingernail." -- Rabbi Yaacov Perrin.