Letter From Israel
elinor אלינור
I used to live in Canada. As winter approached, home-owners routinely
took down, washed (if they were of a mind to splash dead insects around) and
stored their window screens; freed their double windows from wherever the
screens had spent the winter and readied the house for cold weather. Depending on the number of windows, that job
could occupy adults and strong, dependable offspring for a
week.
Following the windows endeavour came
‘winterising the car’, for no one would need snow tires until after the first
Big Snow—which could come at any time, but not before the cold weather began in
earnest. Winterising the car meant
putting tire chains into the boot after checking to see that the clips would
hold for another year; adding anti-freeze to the windscreen washers and one or
two other activities I’ve happily forgotten.
The winter clothing issue was then
addressed. How many family members had
grown out of last year’s warmth? It was
always hard to lasso younger kids to try on hand-me-downs unless that child had
had an eye on that garment from the previous frost.
Boots. How did they multiply over the winter? They were always kicked off at the door,
instantly inhibiting easy passage. They
were always wet inside and out—how Canadian feet ever grew healthy is a
miracle. And no matter how many
instructions were issued on the care and placement of boots, they always ended
in a colossal mess. As did the back of
the ankle, which was often rubbed raw by the edge of a wet boot when the sock
had slid toe-ward. (This was before the
invention of tights for people who did not study ballet. What an improvement that
was!)
Private homes were built with
vestibules, a space between the front door and the house, with a second door to
stop the wind from bringing the snow right into the kitchen. Not closing the
second door brought screams: CLOSE THE
DOOR!!! Apartment buildings had
vestibules but the individual flats didn’t.
Coats were heavy, made of wool and
smelled bad by the end of the season.
Same with scarves. Gloves and
mitts were spared that fate, they were usually lost within the first weeks of
play. Little kids wore mittens that were
connected with a cord; they were installed on the inside of the coat and
frequently pinned to the cuff of each sleeve.
Those were harder to lose but carried an implied danger: If the kid put the coat on by tossing it over
his head, the cord could choke him.
Always ‘him’. Girls would never
do that. In any case, cords and pins
were objectionable once schooling began.
OK, you get the picture. Shift to Israel in the 21st century. When I
lived in Jerusalem, snowstorms occurred there about every five years. I was startled to read recently that the rate
is now every second year. And this is
the second year.
In 2013, Jerusalemites who had
survived any of the big wars must have recognised the symptoms—grocery stores
running out of food, fear of leaving home and danger on the streets. Several feet of snow had fallen. Streets were impassable; cars stopped
wherever their petrol gave out. With
everyone at home, there was nowhere to park.
The ascent to Jerusalem was clad in
a fug of exhaust from cars stuck on the incline, incapable of proceeding toward
the Holy City but running their motors to keep warm. They, of course, ran out of gas.
The ever optimistic Israeli assumed
that he (always ‘he’, about 90% of those drivers were men!) would make it up the
hill. No provisions for any other
outcome were brought; not even a dry biscuit for the tens and tens of animals
who loyally accompanied their masters—without the ability to scold. Gotta love them.
So this year, the mayor of Jerusalem
had a great idea: Close all roads into
the city before the storm. I don’t know how that turned out—we lost TV
and Internet on the second day.
UPDATE: It didn’t snow nearly enough to justify the
expensive protective and preventive actions earnestly carried out by mayors of
towns such as Safed and Jerusalem.
Joke’s on you, guys!
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